Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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