That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
