Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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