i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Randomize
