I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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