What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
