Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize