But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I've blown a few things in my day
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
The uberlube is also flammable
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
