Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
