She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
