Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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