Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
