In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
