Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
