we have officially lost it.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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