Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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