I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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