Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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