Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
