i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
