The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
