yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I could make wine with my vomit
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
