I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
