umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
