How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
