i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
