This gyro tastes like lonliness
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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