i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I am naked and annoyed.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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