he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
