He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
