what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
