She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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