So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
