So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
