he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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