I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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