im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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