Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
