How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
