He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Randomize
