Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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