VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
