think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
