he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
