I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
