I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
