take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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