she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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