like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Even my vagina gasped.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
i think i just lost a toe
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
