I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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