The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
