The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
