He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
