Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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