My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
