Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
