youre lurking in front of me
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
