I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You smell like stripper and shame
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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