Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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