If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize