I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
