i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
