i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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