dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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