dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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