She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
