Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
